My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize