You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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