Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize