my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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