i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize