addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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