All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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