She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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