Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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