i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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