Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin. http://tfl.nu/cawx
  Replies (3) Good night (1249) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815) Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off? (1-815) You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it. http://tfl.nu/du1d
  Replies (16) Good night (1358) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says http://tfl.nu/zgg0
  Replies (30) Good night (790) Bad night (4114) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/8oew
  Replies (144) Good night (9939) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview http://tfl.nu/us78
  Replies (19) Good night (837) Bad night (3410) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/7obs
  Replies (13) Good night (4007) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone? http://tfl.nu/jm19
  Replies (4) Good night (2363) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  bad decision saturdays are such a good decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): bad decision saturdays are such a good decision http://tfl.nu/ffui
  Replies (3) Good night (3499) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed. http://tfl.nu/vazj
  Replies (8) Good night (2206) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN http://tfl.nu/wx6s
  Replies (7) Good night (2360) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): 2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America. http://tfl.nu/5vl1
  Replies (4) Good night (1512) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches." http://tfl.nu/j5or
  Replies (5) Good night (2609) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS http://tfl.nu/c3uu
  Replies (15) Good night (2176) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID http://tfl.nu/jlhh
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one. http://tfl.nu/mish
  Replies (8) Good night (533) Bad night (705)

Randomize