We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize