i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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