i love accidental penises.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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