I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
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I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
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I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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