Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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