Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize