Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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