I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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