I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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