I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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