It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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