there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize