last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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