I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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