What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize