HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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