i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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