i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
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I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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