we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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