the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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