I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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