Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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