We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
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Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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