I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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