i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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