I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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