no you cant smoke seaweed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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