I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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