I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
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I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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