all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize