a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize