Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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