I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize