Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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