Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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