you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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