I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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