Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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