This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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